I feel like I have been walking on the egg shell. In one moment I told Kathy S. that every thing is great, that Leigh is doing excellent. I am so proud of her. In next moment she would change her mood, yelled at Lyanne for no reason (or for a small reason), or get mad at everyone. What is wrong with her? No one, NO ONE can control my life like this.
I have been thinking about ending my life so I don't need to suffer this fear any more. Why don't I??? I don't want to hurt my mom's feeling, my sister's, my brother's. I don't want Arthur to take the consequence all by himself. I don't want Lyanne to suffer from the fact that her mom took her own life when she was 7. I don't want my death to ruin Lyanne's life. How about Leigh? She will either go crazy, stay in the mental hospital for life, or end her own life because of it. I don't want all these to happen.
So I stay alive.
But I refuse to walk on the egg shell. How????
About Me
- peihaha
- I am the youngest child of a Chinese immigrant couple in Taiwan. I was born and raised in Taipei, Taiwan in this middle class family. My father's first marriage that he left behind in China made him a depressed and quiet man. His marriage with my mother who was 18 when they married did not turn out to be a happy ending. Grew up in this resentment, love and hate relationship I was looking for the definition of true love. Moving to the U.S. allowed me the chance to start a new chapter of my life. Here I am, an independent and ambitious woman who is a wife, a mom, a worker, and a U.S. citizen.
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